Without sounding like some sort of Agony Aunt, I wanted to write a blog that to me encapulates Christmas. As I grow older the build up to Christmas and everything surrounding it, I find ever more overwhelming.
The cost of Christmas weighs heavy on my shoulders and the sheer mass of presents I like to buy for all the family is pretty crazy. The people who like to tell you “Oh I’ve got all of mine” often are the ones with money, time and a very small family to buy for ?.
I’m sure I will be out Xmas Eve, probably spending my last pennies on that little extra gift, because I sooo love giving.
Christmas though really isn’t about the gifts. If I had to describe my Christmas as a child, I would speak about my Aunt. She would come Xmas eve to stay with us, she lived alone and she loved sharing Xmas with a busy family. The classic mince pie and milk we would prepare, a letter for Santa we would leave out, me and my little brother spending all evening simply trying to fall asleep. Dad taking us to Birmingham to visit the big man looking at the sparkly lights and eating chip’s in the car on the way home,
family it’s craziness and all that comes with it. Grandad plugging himself into the TV Xmas night so he could hear the TV programs ?gifts I can remember a few, but the magic really does comes from traditions.
Sadly not everyone has those memories, and can find the emotion that comes with Christmas too much to cope with. The parents struggling to decide who has the children for Xmas, families coping with loss at Xmas and the feeling of change they can’t cope with. There are also people living alone, dealing with bad health, people who have no money and the children with hopes for Xmas gifts that parents can’t buy. How do they get through it?
This is where my thoughts lay so much lately. Not all stories are happy ones to tell, not every problem sadly we can fix, but we can help. The majority of problems can be eased or at least made better by us seeing beyond the £500 phone our 16-year-old wants, and looking a little deeper at what really is important.
An afternoon visiting a lonely neighbour, a de-clutter of the kids toys and giving them quietly to the Mom you just know is in need. Making those extra calls to your Aunt who is having her first Xmas alone. Giving those extra cuddles, soaking up the happy days as you deserve them, laughing and enjoying the Xmas movies.
It is also about respecting the fact that not everyone is in a happy place, just telling them you are near if needed. The power of human kindness is a gift we can give for free, and is so appreciated. If you have lots of spare time why not volunteer to wrap the busy families Xmas gifts? Why does giving have to cost?
I think deep down we all get it, but we all, me included get so wrapped up in the not so important commercial part. It doesn’t really matter if the table decorations don’t match, if you can’t cope with writing 50 Xmas cards. Don’t do them, be kind to yourself and to others.
Think out of the box, deal with what you can cope with, let Xmas be basic. Basic is good, society puts the pressure on us, it is not always a positive thing. Having to reach the standards of Mrs Smith down the road Xmas light’s? Why, why do it to yourself?
Take a step back, I’m in love with “Silent Night” sang by Sinéad O’Connor, it touches me makes me blubber like a baby. I had it on in the car and Alfie aged 5 said “Mom this song makes me sad”, “why son ?” I asked, “I think of the poorly children”, I hadn’t said anything about the song to him, but he got it, he heard the soft message behind the words.
That’s what Christmas is about. The magic, the beauty, it comes from kindness, caring, friends/family and respect. It is everything and more, we just need to share it and use what we have to touch others who may need it, more than we would ever know❤~