The day’s that change us, or should I say the day’s that age us ?~
Being a parent most of us can recall the day’s when our little ones had a bad fall, were sick or had a hospital stay. These are the day’s that change us.
Being a Mom now for nearly 15 year’s I have had my fair share of frightening moments when it comes to my 5 cherubs.
I will take you back to 2004, the day before Jack’s 2nd birthday. We were mid house renovations, and on his birthday wish list was a little tikes slide. Grandma and Grandad arrive with a massive box containing the slide. Giddy with excitement Jack’s running around in the hallway, we all watch as he sings and jumps about, smash he falls straight into the old glass front door panel.
The pure horror of the event just flashed in front of our eyes. Blood pouring from his face, we scoop him up, and looking back foolishly we dive into the car, and make our way to the hospital.
Steve driving, me clutching his tiny now very sleepy body that has gone into shock, Grandad trying to calm us both, as we race along the roads. I had no idea that shock could make you react in this way I thought he was dying, one of the scariest moments of my life.
We pulled up at the hospital I ran in, sadly not as cool as a cucumber ?. I was very clearly told by the nurse in charge to calm myself down for the sake of the little one.
The blood had covered his precious face. He had a large cut across his eyebrow, on his nose and top lip.
Very quickly we were told he would need surgery from the Mac facial team, as the cuts were so deep. Worse, we had an agonising wait as he had not long eaten.
Late that evening we took him down to theatre. My beautiful boy was prepped for surgery, but he was never going to give in and drift off to sleep without a fuss. This kid was already mega powerful. He was screaming and fighting the hand injections, no way would he have the sleeping gas mask anywhere near him.
The anaesthetist very boldly said “blankets”. I wasn’t ready for this move. It took seconds to pull up the blankets and trap him and pop the gas mask over his mouth, totally distressing for a Mother to see.
He was asleep within minutes, I kissed his head and left. His 2nd birthday was a very quiet one, keeping a toddler calm to prevent more harm was certainly a birthday to remember.
Fast forward a few years, at just 6 weeks old Harry developed bronchitis. I had been so lucky to get the triplets home after birth in under 2 weeks, I was devastated to see one of my babies having to go back into hospital.
He was off his feeds, wheezing and floppy, we spent 2 nights in Birmingham Children’s hospital.
A funny moment to share ? one I’m sure my friend won’t forget. Lou my mate offered to drop me at the hospital early on the 2nd morning. Steve had done the night shift and we made our way through Birmingham town centre. Those who are familiar with the roads around Birmingham will know the police courts are opposite the children’s hospital. This one way street is lined with around 30 police cars, and my beautiful friend drives up the one way street in the opposite direction ???
As she drives we watch the faces of policemen follow us with disbelief. She explained my situation and we used the triplet card ? and got a telling off and I scurried off into the hospital very quickly.
We dealt with Harry’s stay the best we could, with 2 newborns at home and a 2 year old, it was a tough few day’s. Baby 8lb Harry had a chest x-ray, and was put on antibiotics.
The following week we did it all again with Lily. The early years with so many little ones were tough, Harry’s chest was weak and he was left with wheezing asthma.
We did a couple more very testing hospital stays with him, until he grew stronger and those hard hospital days became distant memories.
Fast forward, Daddy is working on a garden project? He has the little minions all involved with the jobs, carrying and lifting. He decides Charlie is the man, or should I say nearly 3 years old to help carry a metal pole ?. Together they lift, only Daddy lifts it faster and higher than Charlie, and the pole gives Charlie a lovely 3″ deep cut in the middle of his head ?. Off we go again to our favourite A&E department for stitches.
Over the years with have had 2 hospital dog bites, one trampoline lip spilt, a bird bath hand squash, a more recent fractured coccyx, a day a child woke and couldn’t walk, a finger nail removal once again Daddy’s fault ? a scooter 2″ very deep foot cut, a buckle fracture after an illegal slide climb, on the outside of the slide ?, Various possible fractures, and one very bad break ?.
Now this one will never leave me, Harry had his mate Haroon round for tea. He was 5, they were all playing in the garden with cricket bats and balls. The scream was traumatising! Me and my Nan were in the kitchen and Harry came in with his body bent over, “what’s the matter, calm down” I shrieked, I instantly thought it was his back by how he was holding himself. He swung a very clearly broken arm forward.
The arm was snapped below the elbow. For some unknown reason, instinctively I straightened it to make it better ?, it then very quickly dawned on me that this arm was very broken ?.
The car journey was very similar to the one with Jack after the glass door smash, only this time I was prepared for the sleepy shock state he was in. It also helped that I took my best friend, a Nurse, who could reassure me this was normal.
The break was bad and resulted in an operation to fix 2 metal bars in place. The pain he experienced was unbearable, he didn’t sleep for nights. The rods became infected and the whole experience was very traumatic, this was definitely one of those times that as a family won’t ever forget.
The 2nd most scary day lodged in my mind was Lily’s febrile convulsion. It was Easter just after their 3rd Birthday and we had a bout of diarrhea and sickness in the house, Lily had been unwell for a few day’s,
We were round Mom’s for a change of scenery Lily was resting on Mom’s lap. She was shivering and covered up in a blanket. It was all semi calm, we had the t.v on, and I was preparing some lunch, “Stella, Stella” Mom shouted I came running in, Lily’s eyes were rolling and her body shaking, I knew fairly instantly what was wrong.
“We must cool her down” I screamed. We took her clothes off, her little body so pale and lifeless continued to shake, I called for an ambulance. The lady on the other end of the phone, once again tried to calm me. She expressed the importance of me being calm to answer her questions. I was in such a mess, it looked like the bruises on her legs were darkening. I couldn’t tell if she was breathing properly, I held her in my arms for what seemed like forever. It was for around 8 minutes, so a very long time for her to be like that and I was crying in horror. Mom had taken the boys to a neighbour.
The ambulance finally arrived, and she started coming round. Her temperature at that point was 41 degrees, and the paramedic confirmed she had a febrile convulsion.
She didn’t talk for hours and was very absent. We stayed in hospital over night as any febrile lasting over 5 minutes is unusual. During the weeks and months that followed my behaviour became obsessive every time she was poorly.
I vowed I would do all I could to never let her get like that again. I drove myself and Lily nutty over it. We had fans, flannels and vitamins, I even visited a homeopath for advice and pills. This one was to shape me forever.
We have just spent another weekend on the hospital run this time with a sudden leg limp that Alfie developed. This is the result of a chest infection flaring up. I was semi calm this time around.
I suppose just like every area of life the more life experiences you have the easier we deal with the unexpected. Just when it comes to our children, our precious flesh and blood, I seem to lose all sense and often blow a minor incident out of proportion and go straight into scared nutty Mom mode.
Mid trauma I often need the loo for numerous times ?, I shake and drive all the people around me nuts with “are they going to be ok?” questions.
Therefore, my advice to new Mom’s just starting their journey, sadly our instincts aren’t always right. I’ve been convinced many times that the children are more poorly than they actually are, and nearly drove myself nuts in the process.
The calmness is one I’m trying to work on, and it’s one that’s vital. If you can remain calm, you can face anything. My lovely husband always gives me this advice every time we are faced with a situation, “Let’s deal with it as it comes”. He’s so right, why worry about what’s not happened? Often if you are faced with a trauma you will face it, deal with it and move on.
What I do know is, these really are the day’s that change us, and they never leave us. As a result we revisit them time and time over, but then we are only human, and the power of love we share for our children can be so powerful we don’t always react in the best, calmest way, let’s just hope these day’s are few and far between ?~