When an animal is hurt they find a quiet spot and hide, often with great worry to their owners. This past month I have done just that.
I have been dealing with a situation that has caused so much upset that I felt blogging was totally inappropriate. It was not where I wanted to be. I have had some worried friend’s asking “have you stopped blogging?”, “why no blog Mrs Weston?” Truth be told sometimes it’s easier mentally to build up all your barriers and hide from people and all the drama conflict can cause.
If you have come on here for juicy gossip it won’t be found. All concerned know enough. I will say, when a relationship in whatever form becomes toxic it’s time to move on, no slanging match was had by me. I simply said no more, took my coat and bag and moved on from it.
Now shutting the door to a situation like this is what is the hardest. I would love to say I’m over it, stronger and happier, but that would be a lie. I will probably think about what’s happened, the memories surrounding it for many months, even years to come.
When any person has a level of hate towards you, you realise there is no working through thing’s ?…..
So 2018 has not been the best start. I’m still dealing with the emotions of witnessing my first death in a very traumatic passing. This event has certainly left its mark. It has very much made me question how fragile life is, how you can be here at 5.30pm, then be gone for 6pm?
Dad has retired from work and so far has been unwell. Investigations for just how poorly his chest is are underway. A feeling of heaviness seems to be hanging over us all at the minute.
It has crushed my creative sparkle, and some day’s thing’s have felt tough, but life continues. Jack is approaching his GCSE’s and my usual very calm boy is working very hard. I hope and pray his efforts at school these past 5 years pay off for him because he certainly deserves the glory of good grades.
Prom suit is sorted and a fancy car is booked. The triplets are proving to be very typical teenagers and throwing out some unexpected surprises ?. This week we are completing the boy’s bedroom makeover, building a stud wall to give them privacy and turning them into 2 cells ??
The idea of the separation is to reduce the arguments over who has the light on/off and whose mess is whose? Hopefully it will also give them some individuality in the decorating. I’m more than sure they will still argue, but hey you have to try these things.
Work is going well, my confidence in the school environment is growing. I am blown away with the amount of work these teachers do, I always knew they did planning but it is certainly opening my eyes to the massive stress they face every day with the planning/paper work aspect. I can see why they need 6 weeks off in the summer ?.
Alone time for me and Steve this past month has been fairly limited. I really do recognise the importance of organising it, and certainly must do better next month. To be honest I probably haven’t been the best company for him. I have watched more t.v as a way of escapism, and gone to bed a little earlier, as when you sleep you don’t think ….
So the plan from now is to re-find my sparkle and make peace with the current situation. Accepting things don’t always go as planned is a hard lesson in life to handle and that not all wounds will fully heal.
Not everyone in life will like you, not everyone can be your friend and not everyone in life is nice. These are tough lessons to teach and be tought.
Take care all, be back soon with the sunshine, I hope ?…..
Where have you been?