Parents Evening x 3???~
Tonight has been our first full on parents evening at high school for our trio. Having an older child in year 10 I was prepared for how long these events can go on for, and from 5-8pm it certainly went on ?.
I wasn’t so prepared for how totally exhausting it would be to soak in every bit of information we possibly could, to be the best parents for these 3 very individual people we are trying to raise.
Even now they are 12 I am still totally overwhelmed with these events. I would love to fully explain and describe just how it feels to have 3 children all the same age, and I will try to do so to my best ability. I don’t think with this task I will never do justice.
When you have more than one child, people tell you that you will love them all the same. Those people are right, it’s mad I love so many different things about all 5, I could never have a favourite.
Jack’s hardworking attitude amazes me, his sharp tongue he needs to be trained. Lily’s pure grit and strength you can’t teach a child, but her cheek, I hope one day soon she curbs. Charlie’s charm melts me, yet his laziness drives me nuts. Harry has the kindest heart, but his silliness can be distracting. Alfie is a gentle giant, but an oh so greedy cross one at times ?.
Each child looking to us for praise and recognition. Each having their own anxieties when called over to a teacher they are not so keen on, then they have the added pressure of comparison. We try not to do this but it’s sooo hard with multiples, especially when they sit in front of each other’s teacher’s ( their choice at times tonight I add ?).
Each child has their strengths and weaknesses, but like siblings do they are quick to pick up on the weaknesses, and brag over their own successes. There wasn’t a lot of “Oh well done Charlie on your excellent Spanish”, instead it was “What grade did you get? As I’m going to get higher” ?.
I was gutted when initially they split the 3 of them up last year for high school. I’m a Mom I wanted them together, to bond and care for each other.
Instead we have 3 language’s being learnt, 3 form groups, and 100’s of new friends. It was lovely to walk around the school tonight and the kids already knowing so many people, and having so many friendship groups.
I was surprised at how hardly none of the teachers knew them as the “triplets”. I felt myself explaining why we were late for appointments “it’s because of the triple appointments we were trying to get through” I would explain.
However, I do get just why they hadn’t shared this. They want to be known for being just who they are, individual, not because they are a little different.
When they were babies I would push them in the triple wide pushchair and everyone knew they were triplets. The attention at times was overwhelming and unwanted, especially if all three were crying ???. Then when I no longer dressed them the same, and my back could physically no-longer cope with pushing a 9 stone buggy, no one knew they were triplets.
This met with mixed emotions. I could feel the eyes on them at the supermarket, “she had them close together” “those two are twins” I heard it all. Sometimes I would pop up with, “no they are triplets” and other times I would just let them gossip.
Someday’s I wanted to tell everyone they were triplets. I wanted people to know just how hard it was, and for people to reach out and help us, and it’s the same now. You live through 3 teething at pretty much the same time, 3 learning to walk, talk, ride bike’s, learn to swim, start school, learn to read, every beautiful milestone is tripled and every not so pretty milestone is triple the stress.
I sometimes hope we are enough for them, and after the noise of an event like this tonight I will grab some time to go over each child’s worries. I will aim to praise them and make sure when they leave for school tomorrow they think about focusing and not chattering in a class.
Next week all three are singing in a school language’s concert, and like you do with one child I will sit there mega proud of each of them.
As their Mom I will know just what journey they have been on to get up on that stage. Furthermore, I will make a pretty good guess on how each is feeling, for as hard as it is, I hope they will always know just how much we have tried to celebrate and support each of them and how hard we have tried to ensure they know how much we bloody love them all.
Yes it can be triple the stress and triple the noise every difficult stage is x 3. But then every celebration like tonight’s parents evening we get the privilege of 3 beautiful sets of comments and 3 chances to be equally proud of them. Therefore, we are challenged but then rewarded for our hard work with 3 very big personalities ???~